Buongiorno,

Today is July 4, 2013…and I am sitting on my patio with a beautiful cloud covered breeze. It is humid but the breeze is just perfect for writing. I am not sure what today will bring yet but it will unfold as it should.

Breast Cancer and Yoga? What is the connection? The study and practice of Yoga teaches to be present and aware of what is happening now. Not yesterday, not tomorrow.

It reminds us that change happens every minute, every day, every month, every year. The breath and the asanas or poses that we learn in Yoga brings focus to our inner and outer selves for a short time while we practice and if we allow this,  it can carry on into our daily lives or as we say “off the mat”. I have an example.

In February of this year 2013, I decided to pursue a teacher certification in Yoga. In April, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. After going for a regular mammogram, the radiologist came in and said these words. “We want you to go see a surgeon.” We found something suspicious. He was nice but direct. This was startling to me, so I went to the waiting room, and began asking for my records to take with me wherever I was supposed to go…I had no idea about a surgeon, but my plan was to contact my gynecologist. Before I did that, the radiologist called my Dr. and while I was waiting for my records, my Dr. called me on the phone and said something like this.  I’m sorry you have to go through this. I can’t fix many things, but I can help you have normal days again.

..and then he said, are you sitting down? Do you have something to write with? He then gave me the names of three surgeons and two oncologists that he knew and as he said he would send his wife to…This was so very calming and reassuring. I now had a plan. I did not know the outcome, but I had a plan of action.

It felt grounding….from then on, truly I tried to apply my yoga training to be patient and take one step at a time. Interestingly enough, many people said things like, Oh, you will be fine. I’m sure you will be fine. In my head I know that people are really trying to help me not worry, but I did not feel extremely worried, I felt that I was in the hands of people who know about this stuff. So, one step at a time, like an onion that needs to be peeled (one of my favorite metaphors is the onion) things were uncovered scientifically, surgery was done (a lumpectomy) and radiation is scheduled…for July 15th.

The equipment involved in identifying and the accuracy to which the surgeon had to work with these days was just overwhelming to me. I have not been exposed to so many scans, biopsies, just huge equipment…and attention that I felt I did not deserve, but truly grateful. This is one way to say thank you to the medical community who approached me with care and kindness, to my family who care and keep checking on me, and to my husband who comes with me to help comfort me while I have been waiting for the next steps. I am very fortunate, very humbled by this experience, and just very grateful.

I have to say, that trying to stay in the moment and being aware of what is “now” and what I know rather than what I might speculate has been very helpful…and as my daughter called me one morning before a very uncomfortable test, said “remember to breathe mom”…..

Ciao,

Nonni